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shirl
03-30-2008, 09:23 PM
Elmo
There is a factory in the USA where they make Elmo toys; it laughs when you tickle it under the arm.

A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 0800.
The next day at 0845 there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands the new employee surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches the woman.

"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday."

"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles".

Byrner
03-30-2008, 09:52 PM
Hahahahahaha very good shirl

lcreighton64
03-30-2008, 10:06 PM
Space Monkeys

NASA decided to send a shuttle into space with two
monkeys and a female astronaut. They trained them for months. Then when they thought
they were ready, they placed all three in the shuttle and got ready to send them
up into space.

As the moment came closer NASA's mission control center announced, "This is
mission control to Monkey One. Initiate!"

At that the first monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle's
engines ignited and the shuttle took off.

Two hours later NASA's mission control center announced, "This is mission
control to Monkey Two. Initiate!"

At that the second monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle
separated from the empty fuel tanks.

Another two hours later mission control announced, "This is mission control to
the astronaut..."

At this the astronaut responded "I know, I know. Feed the monkeys and don't
touch anything."

Byrner
03-30-2008, 11:08 PM
Hahahahaha very funny.