Guide for all women

[shirl]

A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO WHAT A MAN IS REALLY SAYING:

I'M HUNGRY.
I'm hungry.

I'M SLEEPY.
I'm sleepy.

I'M TIRED.
I'm tired.

I'VE GOTTA GO.
Get out of the way and stay away until it clears.

WHAT'S WRONG?
I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this.

WHAT'S WRONG?
What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.
I liked it better before.

YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.
$50 and it doesn't look that much different!

YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.
For $50 they should have GIVEN YOU hair!

LET'S TALK, HONEY.
I'm trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person, and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

WILL YOU MARRY ME?
I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

WILL YOU MARRY ME?
I might as well get tax benefits for going through these talks.

[torres9]

Womens English
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I am sorry = You'll be sorry
We need to talk = You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead = You better not
Do want you want = You will pay for this later
I am not upset = of course I'm upset
You're attentive tonite = Is sex all you think about

Men's English
Im hungry = Im hungry
Im tired = Im tired
Nice dress = Nice cleavage
I love you = Lets have sex now
I am bored = Do you want to have sex
May I have this dance = Id like to have sex with you
Can I call you = Id like to have sex with you
Go the Pictures ? = Id like to have sex with you
Go to Dinner ? = id like to have sex with you
Those shoes dont go with that dress = Im gay

A recent Scientific study found that women find different men attractive depending on where they are in their mentrual cycle.

For example when they are ovulating they prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
But when they are menstruating they like a man doused in petrol and set on fire with a scissors stuck in his eyes and a broom handle up his ass.

[torres9]

Womens Personal Ads
40-ish = 49
Adventurous = slept with everyone
Athletic = no tits
Average looking = ugly
Beautiful = pathalogical liar
Contagious smile = does alot of pills
Emotionally Secure = on medication
Feminist = fat
Free spirit = junkie
Fun = annoying
New age = hairy armpits
Old fashioned = no BJ's
Open minded = desperate
Outgoing = loud and embarrassing
Passionate = sloppy drunk
Professional = bitch
Voluptuous = very fat
Large frame = hugely fat
wants soul mate = stalker

[shirl]

Ha ha very good especially the bit about petrol and scissors, :icon_ihearu:

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